The Fantastic Journal of Jar Jar Binks!
by Darth KenObi-Wan
Summary: AU. A journal of TPM. NO stupid accent. That would be too hard to write. You can review or you can not. I don't care! WARNING: Character death! He dies horribly! NO Slash. It is supposed to be funny, but I think I failed with that!


Hello! If you are reading this, you are insane. You also agree not to kill me. Other than that I have nothing to say, except that, I was bored ok? I'm sorry!

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The Fantastic Journal of Jar Jar Binks

Entry 1

My day started as any other day would, with breakfast. All was quiet and peaceful. Then, suddenly, a man appeared. He didn't look like a Noobian but he was human. He was running from something. Then, that something came crashing through the trees. It was huge and non-organic. I panicked and grabbed hold of the man. If anyone could save me, it would be him.

The something that had crashed through the trees passed over and we got up. I told the man that I thought of him as my saviour. He told me that the ability to speak does not make me intelligent. It was at this point that I began to realise that I wasn't as popular as I thought I was.

A younger man appeared and spoke to my saviour. Then they ran away. I'm beginning to think that some people don't like me. I took them to Ohta Gunga and I was sentenced to death. It was at this point that I started to realise that I may have been a bit annoying.

I have many things to think over.

Entry 2

It's been an hour since I last wrote and there has been so much happening in that short amount of time. I've been shot at more times then I can count, and we met the nicest young girl. She seems rather pompous though. She needs to do something about that, otherwise people won't like her. Maybe I could have a conversation with her about that.

The man, my saviour, is a Jedi, called Qui. The younger man is Obi. We are going to another planet now. That young girl is going to speak to some people about getting something back.

Entry 3

We have arrived on another planet. I don't like it there are two suns and they are doing murder to my skin.

Entry 4

We met the nicest young boy. His name is Ani. He raced in a flying contraption along with other people in flying contraptions. He won the race. Now he is coming with us to another planet so the girl can talk to those people.

While we were on the planet we met the nastiest person. I hadn't even been introduced to him and he's trying to beat me up. I'm starting to strongly suspect that I come across as incredibly annoying.

Entry 5

We finally arrived on the other planet. There are buildings everywhere. They are all shiny. That girl has gone to speak with the people. Ani and I are left here to wait for them or the Jedi. I am so bored!

Entry 6

We're going back home now. That girl has something planned. She is going to fight with the thing that crashed through the trees. She is very brave.

Oh, no! I've just been told that I have to help to get the Gungans on her side. That is suicide. Gungans don't like outsiders. She mustn't like me very much. But then, when I think about it, not many people do like me.

Obi even told me the other day that I am an idiot. I wonder what he meant? I thanked him for the complement and went on my merry way.

Entry 7

The fight is over. Some Gungans died. Jedi Qui died too. They burnt him after that. I think it's so that he won't come back as a zombie. I was sad. Everyone else was happy at the parade. We are free! I helped. Now they are going to send me back to the other planet with buildings. I don't like it there. I hope I don't have to stay. Oh well.

Epilogue

Jar Jar Binks was found dead the next morning. Poisoned with dendriton toxin. Whoever killed him, wanted him to suffer. We will never know the truth.

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If you don't know what dendriton toxin is, it is slow and painful. It basically feels as if you are being burnt alive from the inside out.

No I did not make it up. It was mentioned in the first Medstar book.

If you want to review, go ahead, but I don't really care anymore. At least, not for this story.


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